Absence

Hey guys,

Sorry I've been absent this month. After having my dog put down, I needed some time to think and grieve. I thought that maybe it wouldn't hit me so hard, because I knew that she was very old, very sick (she had been living with dementia that got progressively worse), and that it was just time- her quality of life was no longer there. Yet, knowing all of that and being able to sort of "schedule" her euthanasia, and having my whole family be there when the time came... It didn't really help. It just made me wonder if I did everything I could for her, and I regretted the times I got frustrated with her. Dementia is probably one of the worst things I've had to deal with in a pet. She just wasn't herself anymore. Fetch was the only game she loved to play, but she'd just watch the ball roll. She'd always adored cats, but she grew to dislike and even growl at them. She loved the outdoors, hiking and adventure but she didn't like walks anymore. She was always a people loving dog, but she no longer liked affection. None of this was her fault, but it was heartbreaking to see. I can't imagine what it's like to see in a loved one.

My dad and family saw how devastated I was after we had to put her down. It was hard to come home to a house without a dog, when I had been used to it for the past decade. They encouraged me to look into rescuing another dog. I looked for a while, and honestly it just made me feel more sad. Then I came across a dog that really reminded me of my Toby- that same look in her eye. I have gone through the process to adopt her and she is now home with me. It was sort of rocky at first- it kind of made me feel more sad and anxious, but now I'm really happy I did it. In some ways, she's a lot like Toby, but in other ways she is completely different. I will post some photos of her soon.

Anyway, that is where I've been and I'm happy to be back.